She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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