you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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