omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
