I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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