Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Panties = found
Randomize
