i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
