i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
