I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
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I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
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My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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