We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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