He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
