Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
