and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize