i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
