all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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