Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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