i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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