If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
