Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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