The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Do vagina's smell?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
