Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize