i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
