i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
