he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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