this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize