Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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