He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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