He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
