omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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