I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize