we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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