i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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