New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
