Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
