if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
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