Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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