He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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