I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
