something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
