Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So squirting runs in the family.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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