I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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