Grow some girl-balls and come out already
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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