For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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