how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize