...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
