I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The air was thick with penises
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
