Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
false alarm, still single
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
