im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
