meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
