I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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