I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize