Church boner. Awkwardddd
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
