i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Randomize
