hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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