You just made me feel so damn special
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
