Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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