This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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