the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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