He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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