You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
