she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
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