is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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