I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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