I am spending my child support on dildos
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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