I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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