Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
