What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
