I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
