Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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