Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
