I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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