Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
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