worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize