so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
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There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
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I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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