redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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